Hey, It Wasn’t Me!

Dings in the Hard Wood Floor

I stood there nonplussed they chose me! I’m 3 x 7 = 21 years old. This was my first family! Mom looked at me and gave me a name.

Hi, I’m Bentley Whooph 🐾.

Now, for the record, pretty sure I did the adopting. And they just went with it. Nevertheless, Mom, Dad, Kris, and Jon became my new family.

My adopted family seemed so at ease and attentive and just catching on to my studdly amazingness. Food, treats, walks. Meals were so much better with a family. And a big bone to stuff with stuff.

The Feema Bone

I do love chicken, but the way Dad stuffed that Feema Bone with chicken! I worked that thing to death, no help, no game. There had to be a trick.

I slobbered, I nibbled, I licked, got a tongue-cramp. It was not happ’nen. Until finally, Dad looked upon my pains. And I musta looked pitiful, cause it worked.

The Feema Bone Trick

Dad looked at me with great compassion. I said, “I gotta be doing something wrong.”

Dad says, “Just slobber up the Feema and the chicken, and just drop it! On the hardwood floor.” And he demonstrated.

I looked at him with profound enlightenment. Nothing better than new wisdom. I slobbered and dropped that bad boy til the cows came home. Over and over, just like Dad said.

It worked like a charm! Maybe 237 drops to the floor, and I don’t know how many licks, and the chicken just sprang out of there so fun! Every day was new chicken in the Feema. I had that trick down to a science!

New Wisdom

One day, Mom noticed some dings and divets on the floor. Whew! Tricks can make a mess. Somebody is gonna get blamed for that!

I had already seen them dings and played it cool so as not to be implicated. However, I suspected a great injustice was about ensue. So, I practiced my looks:

a Vinnie Barbario. “…What? ”

and

“ Hey, I didn’t do it. ”

Then Mom AND Dad turned and looked at me, double-barrel airs of displeasure and accusation. They stared at me and I said:

“Look, I don’t know what that is…

The wood is just…OLD.

All I know is Dad taught me a trick for the chicken.”

Mom looked at Dad real stern-like, arms folded.

Dad kept quiet and nodded a lot, like he was getting an earful of new wisdom. Mom had lots of new wisdom! Seemed like it was stored up for just that occasion!

Next day, Dad is a wise man. Got in the truck, and came home with boxes and tools. Serious wisdom! Dad replaced the whole blinkin’ floor!

Sweet! No more dings.

What?…And no more Feema Bone?

Stay tuned for more Bentley! – Charlie Whooph